Huberman’s Lab: Science of Bonding in Family, Friendship, and Romantic Relationships

Evergreen Concepts

  • Share experience = shared physiology = more bonded.
  • Social hierarchies are very dynamic. You can change who is leading and following just among your friend groups vs. family members.
  • Chronic social isolation makes you more antisocial and introverted. A human will get used to being introverted.

Notes

Social Bonding is a Biological Process

  • Bonding is used as a verb here because everything in biology is a processing system.
  • Social Isolation
    • Social isolation: restricted someone from social contact.
    • It increases stress hormones (cortisol)
    • Tachykinin will make people very aggressive and hostile. It is the opposite of being nice after getting out of isolation.
    • Social craving is very healthy.

Social Homeostasis & Neural Circuits of Social Drive

  • Kay Tye. 
  • Why do we seek and put out many efforts into social bonds?
  • Social Homeostasis: you want to maintain a balance of socializing. It composes of detector, control center, and effector of response. It provides feedback to the sensor and meets its needs of it.
    • Homeostasis is maintained by three-part: detector, control center, effector.
  • Social hierarchies are very dynamic. You can change who is leading and who is following just among your friend groups vs. family members.

Brain Areas & (Neuro)Chemistry of Social Drive

  • The prefrontal cortex makes you not robotic and makes you contingent on the situation.
  • Sensation converts physical stimuli to electrical signals that the brain can read.
  • Effector in the brain: Dorsal Raphe Nucleus in the Midbrain
    • Dopamine is the effector of social craving.
  • Anterior cingulate cortex and Basal lateral amygdala: aversive response of moving away from unliked social relations
  • Lateral hypothalamus and periventricular hypothalamus: access the hormone system to control the release of oxytocin.

What is Social Homeostasis & Dopamine?

  • If you are not meeting your stoical needs for yourself, dopamine will be released into your brain to seek out social contacts.
  • If you are used to having many social contacts, and that is taken out from a routine acutely, you will start to have a pro-social craving.
  • Chronic social isolation makes you more antisocial and introverted. A human will get used to being introverted.

Introverts & Extroverts

  • The pop psychology of understanding introverted and extroverts based on their behavior.
  • Introverts have more dopamine release from social interaction than extroverts.
  • Extroverts need more doses of socializing to have the same dopamine released as an introvert who has less socialization.

“Good” Versus “Bad” Social Interactions & Hierarchies

  • The prefrontal cortex can be a break or context setting for the lower evolution parts of the brain, such as the hypothalamus and midbrain area.
  • What hierarchy you are in will matter a lot.
  • If you see someone you hate a party, and you want to leave, the prefrontal cortex will be the part that decides to go—the subjectivity in socializing.
  • Loneliness & Dorsal Raphe Nucleus & Social Hunger
    • Loneliness is the difference between ideal and perceived relationships.
    • It is very subjective. Everyone has different definitions of socialising and relationships.
    • This is the part that controls loneliness. Small but powerful.
  • Socializing & Food Appetite: Crossover Craving
    • The homeostatic system for hunger and socializing system are the same.
    • Acute socialization Evokes Midbrain Craving Responses Similar to Hunger.

Tools for Social Bonds: Merging Physiologies with Story

  • Conscious processing of Narrative Stimuli Synchronise Heart-rate across individuals
  • Concert phenomenon: Concerts, listening to the same story, or music will be closer.
  • Share experience = shared physiology = more bonded.

Childhood Attachment Patterns in Adulthood

  • Right brain vs. left brain is wrong (rational vs. emotional)
  • There is a right and left brain of attachment.
  • The subconsciousness of the autonomic nervous system.
  • Attachment Styles: Autonomic Versus Intellectual
    • What bonds can make you feel rich and complete with?
    • Emotional vs. cognitive relationship.

Emotional Empathy & Cognitive Empathy, Arguing

  • Empathy is thought about what others feel.
  • You don’t know what others are feeling.
  • Emotional heart vs. cognitive empathy
    • Emotional is an autonomic function.
    • Cognitive is how the other person thinks.
    • Both of those are required to build a trusting social bond.

Oxytocin & Trust

  • Hormones can change how genes are expressed.
  • Oxytocin has many effects, such as orgasm, social recognition, pair bonding, honesty.
  • Oxytocin is also involved in the milk lactation reflex
  • Uterine contraction during birth requires oxytocin.
  • Put effort in emotional empathy for sharing autonomic experiences.

Social (Media) Butterflies: Biological Basis

  • Gene polymorphism in oxytocin receptor.
  • The Relation Between Oxytocin Receptor Gene Polymorphisms Adult Attachment and Instagram Sociability
    • Social desirability index: people seek out more social Instagram interactions.
    • Higher oxytocin functions actively search out more interaction on Instagram.
  • Many generations have made socializing online. People look at the same Instagram post and can have a similar physiological response, like the same heart rate.
  • The Child Caretaker relationship is the most important one.

Critical Points for Bonding & Understanding Social Bonds

  • Depends on the type of social bond.
  • Pay attention to external events like music or story to leverage autonomic empathy.
  • Cognitive empathy is understanding how the other person thinks and their perspective.
  • Breaking up
    • Humans are nervous systems influencing other people. Your source of dopamine is eradicated from your life. It is traumatic.
  • Falling in Love
    • Months to Decades of this person can completely fulfill your needs, and you get away from sleep and eating to the most intense.

2 responses to “Huberman’s Lab: Science of Bonding in Family, Friendship, and Romantic Relationships”

  1. […] challenge is accurate for males because males tend to have fewer social connections than females to share their doubts and fears about […]

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